Why Me? (written 7/14/2008)

Today I have really been thinking about my life. I been in school for 4 Yrs, my 27 yr old brother was murder March 30, 2008, and now I have ameloblastoma. WHY ME, why I was the chosen one? I feel like my life is spinning out of control and no one understand. Not anyone that I know (my family and friends) anyway, because I have this rare tumor growing in my mouth and I am 1 in 10 million rt. A couple of day ago one of my friends when to my MD appt. with me. A model of my head with the tumor on it come in. My tumor consumes my whole rt side at the bottom of my jaw and the front. My friend had the nerves to tell me that my tumor was not that big. WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Lets trade places. She said "I am over exaggerating". I can't believe she said that. I am about to loose all my bottom teeth except 3, I will need speech therapy, my face will be sunking on the rt. side, I will have numbness for the rest of my life, there is a chance of complications and sat back, and GOD ONLY knows what else will happen, and she thinks I am exaggerating. That hurted my feelings. I hope to get some responds because I do not personally know anyone with ameloblastoma and anything you can tell me will help. I just feel so down and out. I feel like a little kid in a mall, lost and scared, looking for my mommy.