Finally, People That I Can Relate To !!!!

First of all I want to say, yahoo support group for ameloblastoma rocks. It's the best. I have a beautiful conversation with Tina the other night, it really, really helped me because I was feeling down.I keep delaying my surgery, as if I'm waiting for a miracle, or wishing to get a phone call telling me, "Your tumor is gone, your teeth are spared, no surgeries." Deep down I know I have to have surgery soon, there is just no way of getting around it. I asked Tina,"How do you prepare yourself, to walk thur the hs door for surgery?" How do I tell myself, it will be o. k., when I feel like you are dying in the inside of fear, of the uncertain. I am so, so scare and so, so mad. I guess I am only in the anger stage of the grieving process, I mean I just got over the the shock stage. Next I will be bargaining with GOD.If someone would ask me, at this moment, "How Do I Feel?" I feel like a small child, lost, all along in a big mall, looking for mama. I feel like I have fallen in a big deep, dark hole, and I am calling out for help and no one comes. I know this sound insane, I am just trying to understand everything. I should be grateful that I do not have cancer, because my situation could be a whole lot worst. For heaven sake, I work with really sick clients in CCU, but it's different when it's you. If the tumor was on another part of my body, it would be a little better, but it's my face.I know I am not along, thanks to my friends from the support group. I will be o.k., I am having a hard time working thur this emotionally, as you can see. My next doctor's appt. is July 21, we will schedule my surgery on this date and I will not reschedule it, I promise. I will get thur this. Like my title says, I will take my life back and win my battle with ameloblastoma.